‘The grass is always greener’ and other lies we believe

A few years ago I was walking through the airport on my way to my gate and I stopped at the gift shop. I usually bring a book to read but this time I didn’t so I walked up to the book section. I found one that immediately grabbed my attention. It was about a concept that I had never really thought about. What if we really did get all the things we wanted when we wanted them? Would that make us happy? The conclusion the writer came up with was no. The joy we find in life is from the things we go through every day that we didn’t think we were going to go through. I was going to buy the book, but it was a hardback copy and it was over priced (as everything is at the airport) so I just told myself I would buy it when I got home. I didn’t buy it. I have been looking for it ever since. The problem is that I don’t remember the name!

The reason I am bringing this story up right now is because of a discussion I had yesterday. On twitter a question was posed: “When I get what I want, will I want what I’ve got?”

My response to that was, “No. People want what they don’t have, the hunt is where the thrill exists.” I guess the problem with this is that I was not talking about myself, I was talking about people in general.

It made me stop and take a look at myself. Do I think that the grass is really greener on the other side of the fence? Am I only interested in the “hunt” and not on actually getting what I say I want. The conclusion I came to is sometimes. It freaked me out to think that I might be part of the group that is more interested in chasing things than in actually getting what I want, so I decided do some soul searching and some research.

According to everything I could find online it takes an income of $75,000 per year right now to be happy. I found multiple articles and studies that said this was the magic number and here is one of the articles: “How Much Money Makes You Happy?”

I don’t make $75,000 per year currently. At no point in my life have I made $75,000 per year up to this point. I am a happy guy. I really am happy. One of the things I found out in my research is that people stress about money a lot! I have seen that in the lives of friends and family. I am not really one to stress about money. I don’t need stuff. There is no bigger, better, nicer thing that I am saving my money to get. I am not running up credit cards so I can out-do my neighbors. That is just not who I am. I’m not saying that I am somehow the only person who is not materialistic and consumed with stuff. I know a lot of people who are less worried with what they have than they are in how much they can help someone else.

This all made me realize a few things. First off, there are a lot of people consumed with themselves and their own stuff. If the research that was done is correct than wow…we are really all about things in America today. I guess I knew that, but hadn’t thought about it in a while.

Another thing it made me realize is that there is so much more in life than just me and my stuff. When we get our eyes off of us and onto how we can make a difference we can change lives. There are people who change lives every day. People who do a lot more than me…and probably more than you too. I’m not trying to make anyone feel guilty for having stuff. If you make over $75,000 then that is awesome for you!

My only question is will you help someone else or will you keep it just for you and yours? I find that helping people with what I have been given is way more rewarding and brings me more happiness than spending it on myself. I know I can’t be alone in that.

I know a guy who gives more than he takes. You may or may not agree with everything he says or exactly how he does what he does…but he helps people that others ignore. Take a second and consider helping him help others. If not him, find someone or something you believe in and make a difference. We can change the world for the better. We just have to get our eyes off of ourselves.

Go to http://www.theoneinc.org/ or click the picture below.

You “like” my status…what does that do for you?

I have been going a different way with my twitter updates which updates my Facebook. Most of you who read this blog are friends with me on Facebook or we follow each other on twitter.

I used to update a lot with where I was or what I was doing. I would quote a lot of people that said things that sounded funny around me. My updates were small samples of what was going on around me. In the past few weeks that has changed some. Most of what I have had to say has not been funny (not that everyone thought it was all that funny before.) I started putting up quotes that inspire me to change for the better. I started putting up things that would help other people.

You know what happened? I started to get “retweeted” and “like”ed a lot more. I have people commenting more now and telling me how much they agree with what I had to say or how true that status was.

On Friday I had one comment that kind of shook me up. One person said they enjoyed the status updates and if he kept reading them he would actually have to start changing some things. That made me stop and think for a minute.

I don’t write things that no one has ever thought before. In fact a lot of times people agree because it is so obvious…and yet overlooked. So if I’m not telling you anything new and you “like” my status, what are you doing about it?

A huge part of what I talk about and what I do my best to live (not always successfully but it is always what I am trying for) is to love your neighbor. My updates are centered around grace and mercy, not in word but in action.

Tonight I heard someone say that we don’t want justice, we want grace. How true is that? How many times have we wronged someone and deserved a lot worse than what we received? Grace is easy to take but not always so easy to give. How easy that is to forget.

We like to put grace on the back burner when our waiter gets our order wrong and doesn’t fill up our water glass. We tend to push grace to the side when that co-worker doesn’t do their job AGAIN and we have to put in extra time to cover them. We like to forget we need grace when someone who thinks different about politics than us gets elected and makes choices we wouldn’t make. We hold off on grace to that person because they are making choices that are obviously wrong and they deserved what they got.

We live in a world full of imperfect people. We are surrounded by mistakes that others make. Bad things happen to us that we don’t deserve and didn’t do anything to make happen in our lives. That is true. The question I ask is do you want what you deserve? I know I don’t. I don’t justice for all the bad choices I have made.

You might not think you have done anything as wrong as that other person or those other people, but where does it end? How much wrong is too much wrong? Where is the cut off line for who should receive grace and who is the one making that call?

I know I am not perfect. I screw up. If you do too then you are a perfect candidate for showing someone a little grace. When you read a status about loving when it isn’t easy or helping those who need help don’t just click the “like” button and move on. Do something. Change something. It takes one positive word to change someones life. One act of kindness when someone is in need to rock their world and give them hope. What can you do to improve just one life? Try it out. Make the small changes in you that will make a huge change in someone else’s life. Love your neighbor. Especially the one that hates you.