No one laughs at God in a hospital, no one laughs at God in a war…

My brother made a CD called “Girl Power” and it was (surprise, surprise) all women singing. I had heard it once or twice before, but yesterday my fiance replaced my Johnny Cash CD with the “Girl Power” CD for the ride back to her apartment. This morning on my way to work a song came on that caught me off guard and made me stop and think. It is called, “Laughing With” by Regina Spektor. Here is the music video:

It is easy to dismiss God sometimes as we go on through our busy lives. Then there are those times when our world comes crashing down and who do we turn to? Her perspective seems pretty good to me. Some of her lines were pretty powerful. I will leave you with just a couple of those lines:

God could be funny
When told he’ll give you money if you just pray the right way
And when presented like a genie who does magic like Houdini
Or grants wishes like Jiminy Cricket and Santa Claus
God can be so hilarious

No one laughs at God in a hospital
No one laughs at God in a war
No one’s laughing at God
When they’ve lost all they’ve got and they don’t know what for

There are those around you who are NOT laughing at God, they are going through something bigger than they know how to handle. Reach out to the hurting. Do what you can, when you can. We all have so much to give, even if it is just a kind word or a smile. You can change a life.

If you are looking for a tangible way to change a life right now CLICK HERE. The One, Inc. is helping keep people alive. If you don’t want to help here, help somewhere. We all have a part to play.

Love is…

This is a short video I made about love…what is love to you?

 

Redemptive Violence…what do you think?

I stumbled across a story that caught my attention yesterday. It was titled: “The Myth of Redemptive Violence”

The reason this article caught my attention is two-fold. The first part is that I have asked questions about violence, war, capital punishment…etc. and to this point I have received very few answers that seems to fit my world view. My world view is obviously a mixture of my faith in Jesus and my life experiences. Those two together make for a world view that seems to rub some people the wrong way.

The second reason this article caught my attention was obviously the Aurora shooting. There is a lot being said about guns, gun control, violence and things like that in the days that have followed that senseless murder spree. I have read some stories about people who saved lives by laying down their own lives and I have heard other stories of courage under fire. Then there are those that are talking about the man on trial for the murders. I heard this shooting instantly turned into a political tool for both sides of the aisle. I read that it was a government conspiracy and I heard that it was a U.N. conspiracy. There is a lot of talk about what should and shouldn’t be happening when it comes to guns.

What I want you to do is to take a look at the article yourself and give me your opinion. Here is a part that stood out to me:

“…even in the face the evil that Jesus endured, he consistently challenged the myth of redemptive violence. He looked into the eyes of those killing him and called on God to forgive them. He loved his enemies and taught his disciples to do the same. He often said things like, “You’ve heard it said ‘an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth‘… but I want to say there is a better way” and “You’ve heard it said, ‘love your friends and hate your enemies’ … but I tell you love those who hate you … do not repay evil with evil.'” He challenges the prevailing logic of his day, and of ours. He insisted that if we “pick up the sword we will die by the sword” — and we’ve learned that lesson all too well.”

 

If we are to love our neighbor as ourself and we are supposed to repay evil with good then how do we defend the current response to “evil” in the world? Where is the balance between saving lives (ending things like the holocaust) and starting a war that we have no business being involved in? Is there such a thing as “redemptive violence” or is it a myth as this article would suggest? I leave that for you to consider.

‘The grass is always greener’ and other lies we believe

A few years ago I was walking through the airport on my way to my gate and I stopped at the gift shop. I usually bring a book to read but this time I didn’t so I walked up to the book section. I found one that immediately grabbed my attention. It was about a concept that I had never really thought about. What if we really did get all the things we wanted when we wanted them? Would that make us happy? The conclusion the writer came up with was no. The joy we find in life is from the things we go through every day that we didn’t think we were going to go through. I was going to buy the book, but it was a hardback copy and it was over priced (as everything is at the airport) so I just told myself I would buy it when I got home. I didn’t buy it. I have been looking for it ever since. The problem is that I don’t remember the name!

The reason I am bringing this story up right now is because of a discussion I had yesterday. On twitter a question was posed: “When I get what I want, will I want what I’ve got?”

My response to that was, “No. People want what they don’t have, the hunt is where the thrill exists.” I guess the problem with this is that I was not talking about myself, I was talking about people in general.

It made me stop and take a look at myself. Do I think that the grass is really greener on the other side of the fence? Am I only interested in the “hunt” and not on actually getting what I say I want. The conclusion I came to is sometimes. It freaked me out to think that I might be part of the group that is more interested in chasing things than in actually getting what I want, so I decided do some soul searching and some research.

According to everything I could find online it takes an income of $75,000 per year right now to be happy. I found multiple articles and studies that said this was the magic number and here is one of the articles: “How Much Money Makes You Happy?”

I don’t make $75,000 per year currently. At no point in my life have I made $75,000 per year up to this point. I am a happy guy. I really am happy. One of the things I found out in my research is that people stress about money a lot! I have seen that in the lives of friends and family. I am not really one to stress about money. I don’t need stuff. There is no bigger, better, nicer thing that I am saving my money to get. I am not running up credit cards so I can out-do my neighbors. That is just not who I am. I’m not saying that I am somehow the only person who is not materialistic and consumed with stuff. I know a lot of people who are less worried with what they have than they are in how much they can help someone else.

This all made me realize a few things. First off, there are a lot of people consumed with themselves and their own stuff. If the research that was done is correct than wow…we are really all about things in America today. I guess I knew that, but hadn’t thought about it in a while.

Another thing it made me realize is that there is so much more in life than just me and my stuff. When we get our eyes off of us and onto how we can make a difference we can change lives. There are people who change lives every day. People who do a lot more than me…and probably more than you too. I’m not trying to make anyone feel guilty for having stuff. If you make over $75,000 then that is awesome for you!

My only question is will you help someone else or will you keep it just for you and yours? I find that helping people with what I have been given is way more rewarding and brings me more happiness than spending it on myself. I know I can’t be alone in that.

I know a guy who gives more than he takes. You may or may not agree with everything he says or exactly how he does what he does…but he helps people that others ignore. Take a second and consider helping him help others. If not him, find someone or something you believe in and make a difference. We can change the world for the better. We just have to get our eyes off of ourselves.

Go to http://www.theoneinc.org/ or click the picture below.

Love…but not what you’re thinking

I have been contemplating what I should write for a while now. I have had several personal experiences and a few friends have come to talk to me recently as well. All of it seems to be about love. Different kinds of love and love in different stages.

Today I read an article about people not loving. Not giving that one thing that every religion in the world commands you to give to the people you meet…love. As a Christian I am a follower of Jesus. He said on multiple occasions that we were supposed to love. In fact the greatest commandment was a 2-parter and both parts were about LOVE.

The problem I am having and the reason it has been so hard to write this post is that I’m not sure I can put into words to conflict that is going on inside me.

I know that we are supposed to love everyone. It is not supposed to be dependent on what they do, it is about us. Love is a choice you make. People don’t like it when I say that. If love is a choice then what about feelings and emotions? How can there be love at first sight? How can two people be truly made for each other is love is a choice? Love being a choice does not make for good movies.

That is just the thing. I think that we have a very distorted view of love and really when it relates to those people around us that we don’t agree with…or that don’t fit what we think is lovely or lovable.

I love you unless…you don’t believe in Jesus.

I love you unless…you are homeless.

I love you unless…you cheated on your spouse.

I love you unless…you are a different race.

I love you unless…you are gay.

I love you unless…you’re poor.

I love you unless…you’re too rich.

I love you unless…you cut me off in traffic.

I love you unless…you brought too many items into the express line.

I love you unless…you broke up with my best friend.

We all have reasons that we don’t want to be around people. We have reasons why we don’t want to talk to someone or show them the respect that we think we deserve.

Here is something to think about. No matter what you believe, how you live or how you look…there is someone who thinks you are wrong. Someone thinks you are ignorant. Someone thinks that how you live your life is offensive and should not be tolerated. Now we know that they’re wrong and we’re right so we dismiss this. We dismiss it because we didn’t cheat on our spouse, we don’t believe in some “crazy” religion, we aren’t gay…etc. We are pretty much perfect and if those people would just be more like us then we would love them too.

I am the ultimate majority. I’m a white heterosexual male, born in a middle class family and I am a Christian. That takes me out of the conversation when it comes to me being hated for my beliefs and who I am. I’m not rich enough to be envied and I’m not poor enough to be looked down on. Life for me is pretty easy when it comes to dealing with people…but I had very little to do with where I ended up in this life.

People who don’t fit the mold that I came out of should be loved with the same love that you show me. If you don’t think you have a problem with this then do me a favor. Look at your friends. Look at where you go to eat. Take a good look at who you talk to when you are in public. What comments do you make when you are just with your friends? Better yet, what do you think when you see people who believe differently than you?

You have a choice. You can choose to love or not to love. You can change how you act and what you say. You can’t change me. You can’t change what I think about you, but you can change the way you think about others. If LOVE is the answer and we are commanded to love, then lets start walking that out.

You’re in a relationship…then you MUST be an expert!

It is almost Valentine’s Day. Some people think this is a holiday created by card companies…but whatever you think about it this much is true: people talk a lot about love in February.

Most churches and youth groups talk about relationships, love, marriage, sex and all of that. Commercials all have hearts and are colored pink. Stores are full of chocolate in heart shaped boxes. The price of a dozen roses goes up 1000%!  They say, “Love is in the air.” This blog post is not about any of that. I’m single this year for Valentine’s Day. I’m not upset about that, I don’t find my worth in relationships. What being single does do is give you a different perspective on this time of year.

I was talking to another single person. We made three observations that I thought I would share with you. I’m wondering if we are the only people who have noticed this, and these three things apply all year long. The conversation just came up because we were talking about Valentine’s Day.

1. If you are in a relationship that seems to be working, you are now an expert on all things relationship related.

It is funny when this happens to people that I actually have known for a while. It doesn’t matter that every relationship they have ever had has ended in a fiery ball of despair, NOW they know exactly what it takes to have the perfect relationship. History will never repeat itself. All past is forgotten and nothing I did before matters because NOW I have it all figured out. Taking advice from that person is always fun…especially if they have been in their current relationship less than a year. They still see the other person as almost perfect and everything they do as a couple is the way it should always be done.

2. If you start a relationship, your boyfriend/girlfriend is now the best bf/gf that has ever existed and pretty much the best human that has ever walked the face of the earth!

This is a fun time to be around the new couple. They post of Facebook, twitter, text each other about how perfect they are and how they are the best ever. I don’t normally do this…but sometimes I think about saving those messages, tweets and Facebook posts to show them after the wheels fall off. I know the feeling of a new relationship. I get that you really do believe that person is the best thing that has ever happened! The problem is that most people believe these feelings should last forever. As soon as you don’t see this other person as perfect there must be something wrong. It is time to find a new perfect person for you, that is the obvious answer.

3. When your relationship ends, your ex is now the worst human on the face of the earth.

They are stupid. They are rude. They were always dumb. They were always controlling. They were never right for you and they probably aren’t right for anyone else. The ex is the scum of the earth! Sometimes it is because they broke your heart. Sometimes they really did do something that was wrong. A lot of times it is because we like to live on an emotional roller coaster. We are either head over heels in love…or we are ready to fight because we hate the person so much! Very little time is spent in the middle. At least not in the relationships I have seen…before marriage.

So here is what I have to say about all of this.

First, if you are in a relationship that is working congratulations! I am happy for you and I think you should keep it up! I just don’t really need you to explain what I need to do to find my perfect woman. I don’t need you to explain how you are making the perfect relationship run. If I am looking for advice I will ask you for it, but I don’t need it from you at the moment.

Second, I don’t think that your bf/gf is the greatest human being that has ever existed. The odds are that I think they are a good person. I might think be ok hanging out with both of you, but they didn’t “hang the moon” in my humble opinion.

Lastly, I don’t instantly think that your ex is now the worst person who ever lived. If they broke your heart, I will be here to support you. What I won’t do is instantly cut them out of my life and brand them a terrible excuse for a human. Let me choose who I am friends with and who I am not friends with. You don’t have to like it. Know I will always be there for my friends, but if your ex is my friend too don’t get mad when I don’t jump on your hating band-wagon.

These are just my observations that were brought on by a conversation about Valentine’s Day.

Why I stopped arguing with people…even when I’m right

Some people may not agree that I don’t argue with them…my younger brother is probably on that list. I guess I don’t argue with people nearly as often as I used to. That might be a more accurate description of my life.

I used to be convinced of two things:

1. I was right about pretty much everything.

2. I needed to let you know when you were wrong.

(yes…sometimes I was THAT guy)

I no longer agree with this line of thinking.

Now people matter more to me than always having to show everyone that I am right, but that was not always the case. When I was young I would argue about anything and everything just to prove to you that I knew more than you. I got older, found out I was not always right and also that arguing with people is simply a waste of time. It is a waste of my time and their time.

I have a couple reasons why I think it is a waste of time. First of all, my arguing with you is not going to make you change your mind. All it is going to do is make you mad at me, even if I prove that you are wrong. People make choices based on cost vs. reward. If the reward out weighs the cost then they will do that. That is where the problem I have seen comes into play. We all make decisions on the cost vs. reward based on flawed logic, faulty information and insider information. Let me explain.

Since people need examples for things to make sense I’m going to give you an example of what I consider to be flawed logic and I will make it a current example pulled from the headlines of the current election. Mitt Romney said that he is not worried about the “very poor” or the “very rich” in America. Now the very rich I can understand. They are doing just fine. He said and I quote, “We have a safety net there. If it needs repair, I’ll fix it…” Now in my opinion he believes what he is saying. He also is looking at this through flawed logic. The “very poor” are not doing ok…they are VERY POOR! A safety net may keep them alive, but that does not make them anything but alive very poor people! We may not agree on this one, but that is fine. You can probably take my writings and find some flawed logic that you can point out to me.

 

Faulty information is another reason people make decisions that are wrong even though they think they have weighed the cost vs. reward. This can range from big to small decisions. We all believe some things that simply aren’t true. The problem is this, we believe they are true! If you are convinced that 2 + 2 = 5 then you will never be able to come up with the all the right answers in a math class. Until you change what you believe you will add things up incorrectly.

Finally there is insider information. What I mean in this case by insider information is not what you probably think I’m talking about so I will explain. What I mean is that we all have intentions, motives and reasons we do things. We might make one decision because we know about another decision we are going to have to make in the future. No one else knows all your insider information. We don’t know your motives. We don’t know what really drives you. So to the outside world (everyone else) your cost vs. reward balance is not correct.

That brings me to the reason that I stopped fighting. I know I already lost some of you, but for those still reading here it is. I stopped arguing with people because I can’t change any of the factors that go into their cost vs. reward. I have argued with people and shown them that their logic is flawed and they still didn’t change their mind. Most of the time all I did was make them more upset. When someone believes something that is not true then there are very few times you can get them to change that belief by arguing with them. Also if someone has bigger reasons why they are doing something and that information is not something they want to share then there is truly no reason to argue.

I find it easier for everyone if I just smile and go on my way. If you want my opinion you can ask. I will tell you what I believe to be the truth. What I know now that I didn’t know before is that even when you prove that someone is wrong, they don’t always change their mind or agree with you. I live by the law of love. Loving people is giving them the truth but also knowing when loving the other person is more important than proving to them that you are right.

 

I have seen marriages end, friendships broken and countless people hurt because someone HAD to prove that they were right. When showing you know best or know more becomes more important than the other person then YOU are the one who is working with flawed logic. People matter the most. Keep that in perspective and you will be happier and more fulfilled…at least I am. Love always wins in the long run, no matter what the news says.

Do not stand at my grave and weep

Do not stand at my grave and weep,

I am not there; I do not sleep.

I am a thousand winds that blow,

I am the diamond glints on snow,

I am the sun on ripened grain,

I am the gentle autumn rain.

When you awaken in the morning’s hush

I am the swift uplifting rush

Of quiet birds in circling flight.

I am the soft starlight at night.

Do not stand at my grave and cry,

I am not there; I did not die.

–Mary Elizabeth Frye 1932

 

 

This is not a normal post for me…but what is normal? I have a friend who lost a family member recently and is having to deal with that loss.

Most of us have lost someone that we care about. I have lost my share of both relatives and friends in my life, but we all grieve differently. To say I have been through it would not be fair for me to say. I have lost someone but that does not qualify me to tell you how you should react.

Death is a fact of life. Those of you who read this have different views on life, death and what comes after. One thing we all agree on is that we enjoy having our loved ones here with us. When they are no longer here there is a whole where they once were. I do not believe we cease to exist when our bodies stop working…so I don’t want anyone to stand at my grave and weep. That is why this poem struck a note with me.

I don’t agree with this poem in the “theological” view of afterlife. I do want you (the reader) to remember that even when we don’t get it, others have to work out death for themselves.

Be there for people. Be there when they need to talk. Be quiet when they don’t want to talk. Remember that you don’t know what they need. We all grieve differently. Make sure you care more for the people than you do for your own ability to “fix” a situation. Care. Smile. Listen. Hug. Whatever is needed…be there.

Birthday Stories…via The One, Inc.

My birthday was on Tuesday (11.29). In this age of facebook and Twitter people who don’t really know you get notifications that it is your birthday so they wish you a happy birthday. I decided to try to focus the one day people pay attention to your profile into something that would help people. What I do is ask people to donate $1 to the charity that I choose. It has to be something that I believe in. Something that I know is making a difference with the money that is coming in.

(Skip the last paragraph to find out why this is called BIRTHDAY STORIES if you don’t want to read this whole post)

Previously I had used charities that worked in third-world countries. I picked a group that is helping those who can not get clean water or have no access to the basic things that we take for granted like sanitation and food. In the past year I have become more and more familiar with a man and an organization that is changing lives 30 minutes away from where I live. The One, Inc. is the non-profit organization started by Aaron Reddin.  I met Aaron when I was serving dinner to some of the homeless under the Broadway Bridge in Little Rock. He had pulled up in The Van and was passing out water, blankets and some personal items to anyone who walked up and asked. The Van was something I had heard about. The Van drives into homeless camps and all over town and Aaron, along with other awesome volunteers, pass out basic necessities that people who are homeless need.

The difference between what The One, Inc. is doing and other people trying to help the homeless is that there were no requirements set on people to receive help. I had been working with different organizations and groups downtown since I moved to Arkansas and all of them made people do something. That something was either turn in applications for jobs, sitting through a church service and even paying a certain amount of money (most if not all homeless shelters charge to stay after the first couple days). What I saw with The Van and Aaron was that they helped people exactly where they were. No need to clean up, no need to make steps to change their ways…just ask and you can have whatever was in The Van at that time. If he didn’t have what they needed he would figure out a way to get it and actually come back with it when he said he would come back.

Now you might not agree with that approach. I have had many discussions with many people about that subject. People don’t believe in helping someone who is not on the path to recovery from their additions because then you are enabling them. I simply ask you to take a look from a different side. What if that person is not alive in six months or a year so that they can make that first step in their nine step recovery process? What if someone doesn’t get them a tent, socks, band-aids or water when they need them? Is keeping someone alive more important than making sure that they follow your rules? I say yes. That is why I chose to try to raise support for The One, Inc. this year.

On my birthday my brother (who is a writer) offered to help me raise money. He said he would write a short story for every person who donated money to The One, Inc.  We decided that the person who donates the most money will get a story written by both of us! We then decided to extend the offer for my entire birthday week! We are writing “Birthday Stories” for anyone who donates during this week. You pick the topic, we write the stories. It is as simple as that. We are going on the honor system. If you tell me you donated I will take your word for it. You can send me a message on facebook, a direct message on twitter, you can email me or you can post a comment on here. We’re trying to save lives and help people who need help…and you get a story out of the deal!

Who is YOUR brother?

I have taken a break from writing. There are lots of reasons, none of which will be shared in this post.

I’m writing about who is your brother. I have two brothers…when speaking in the sense of my parents were responsible for doing their part in creating three humans. Jack is the oldest, I am the middle brother and Chris is the youngest.

We are the Johnson brothers and there is no one who questions that. There are several other people who I am so close to that I consider them family and so I call them brothers or sisters. Some of those people are cousins and some are friends.

None of that is what this blog post is really about either. When I ask who your brother is a lot of people will list the members of their family…or even someone who is like a brother to them.

I think we need to expand our view of our family. I was watching a show with my roommates tonight and it was talking about who we should help when it comes to physical needs. There was one person who basically said anyone who was in need. Another said that he does not agree. He said he only thinks we HAVE to help those who agree with him as far as religious views are concerned and if we help others past that it is out of charity not obligation.

Maybe this is your view and maybe it is not. You might not think we need to help anyone but those we are actually related to, I don’t know.

Basically I am of the opinion that we need to help anyone who is asking for help. I believe that you didn’t get to choose to be born into your family, in your country, with your level of intelligence…etc. So someone who is asking for help is your brother. They are human. They didn’t pick their parents either. If they could have, maybe they would have picked to be in your family…and if they had been would it change your attitude when they asked for help?

One of the men on tv tonight said we can’t help everyone who has a need. He used that as a reason to focus on people who agree with his view of things. I say how does he know we can’t help everyone? We never even try.

My brother is every person I come in contact with. Who is your brother?